I know Ive been away from here for so long. But those who are on my Facebook and twitter know I got married and shot a feature for the Quarterly magazine coming out next month. I also send out my work for 2 events here in Israel and got denied. I really don’t think this country is the platform for my work. Which is extremely frustrating. But oh well…
Featured in Anormalmag today
We all do it dont we..? Think once we have something our lives will miraculously fall into place. Even though I always “KNEW” life doesnt really work that way, something in me really did believe that once I find a man that wont play games with me and which I will find a home with, my anxieties will cease to be an issue in my life.
I have made that “peculiar” assumption based on past experience in which I was madly inlove and things that always seemed ” scary” weren’t scary any more. Now I know that illusion happens when you are in LUST. Its like going out for a few beers and than thinking about shooting other people or asking people to pose for a project seems so silly…”Hey Ill wake up tomorrow morning and just DO IT ” but the next morning I wake up alcohol free and I never do it. Cause its scary again…cause those thoughts are king of my castle once more… Ugh being sober sucks…
and being in love has the same effect I suppose but then it wears off.
I just realized that as long as I will be insecure and as self conscious as I am… allowing myself to finally really fall in love with a man that wants to give me a home is the scariest thing yet.
Anxieties dont go away they just shape them selves into every single aspect of your life. The only way to get rid of them for good is to look in the mirror and love your self. Each day a little more…dont beat your self down on things you didnt accomplish.
the other day I woke up with my man by my side waking up aswell… and I found my self turning to the wall and tears came down my face. Its not always easy to allow love in and love doesnt live in you to begin with…Sometimes I think Im too hurt and too dark to open my self to it. But I am working on it. And I will reach light! if it kills me !
(Source: Flickr / roniriver)
jkflash said: hey i really like your 365 your a beautiful woman and you have amazing talent.
Wow thank you so so much :)